i didn't think i'd ever be this toolish, but here it is...

i hate suits. i have a suit on today for a client visit that was canceled at the eleventh hour. needless to say, i was conked out on the couch at the eleventh hour and missed the memo. thank you, suit, for making me look worse. i HAVE all of the assets you're trying to promote, and i spend lots of time minimizing them. hello shoulders. hello boobs. yes. i look like the female version of charles atlas. piss off, j. crew.

i don't feel like myself. where are my shiny green shoes? where are my not-quite-right gap jeans? where's the turtleneck to pull up to my earlobes in this cold, cold office?

if you see a pissed off box roaming the halls, that'll be me. do not say hello. just walk the other way.