This time, the girl is really letting go...

Have you recently gone to the beach with a six year old? If so, you’ll know that bringing your book was probably a move based in futility. With your beloved first grader in tow, you most likely had to make a beeline for the water. Once in the water, you competed for longest-held bent-leg handstand (bravely touching the murky bottom with your delicate fingers, errant crabs be damned), and Flippered around in the waves with the kid in backpack position. Afterward, there was catch, keep away, Frisbee. Sandcastle building followed, an epic shell and rock hunt, a long walk to the jetty to hunt for starfish and barnacles and crabs, a trip to the ice cream truck and the beach house. You know this kid. You were this kid. I continue to be this kid.

I’ve been the butt of jokes for years because I can’t. Sit. Still. One therapist wisely pointed out that I was the approximation of a “human doing” rather than a “human being”. Is it exhausting? Yes sir. Do I know any other way to be? No, I do not.

For the past two years, I’ve been in constant motion, balancing two full time graduate programs with a 40 hour work week and myriad hobbies (and a little socializing to boot!). Get ready. I’m going to say this, and I’m going to say this once:

I AM BURNT OUT.

There. Done.

That was me admitting I have a problem. Now, let’s get on to solving it.

About a week ago, Danielle Laporte of the creatively kinetic White Hot Truth blog wrote a beautiful post about regaining yourself post burnout – 11 things to do (and not to do) when you’re burned out. Details here: http://whitehottruth.com/business-wealth-articles/11-things-to-do-and-not-do-when-youre-burned-out/
While Laporte herself admits that life balance is a figment of our type A imaginations (oxymoron in the house, catch that?), I’ll be rereading her list of recovery-themed behaviors at least once/day until I feel whole again. They include:

1. Cease keeping a to-do list (ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod. Really?)
2. Keep a schedule (done. Committed to my grey matter).
3. Schedule in sleep (don’t have to tell me twice. What’s more delicious than a book in bed?).
4. Plan to do one Busy Luxury thing that would make you giddy, but has felt like a waste of precious time (yoga? Horses? Painting?!).
5. Recapitulate your work process and your stress.
6. Return to your roots (suburban summertimes…fire up the grill!).
7. Do not start anything new (this I will struggle with. I want surfing lessons. I want to write. I want a new fitness goal.).
8. Express your gratitude (the ineffable Meg Cline suggests a gratitude journal, and she is the shit. Therefore, I shall give thanks many times over).
9. Be generous (please register for gifts ahead of time).
10. Wholly trust the organic nature of create-fry-regenerate. (Accordingly, please be patient with my first attempt at a substantial blog post in quite some time.)
11. Trust. (Deep breath. High five, universe, let’s do this.)

Why is this so important? Because I’ve quit my job. Because I’m ::gulp:: moving home to live rent-free. Because my car died and I’ll be bicycling through my life. Because I’m going to be a full time graduate student interning in a high school, and I’m alarmingly close to the job I think I’ve always wanted…and yet still so far. I just threw my dice at the sky. Breathe. Rest. Regenerate. Make it happen.

And here I go.