if i were to personify my immune system, it would look a bit like wayne knight in jurassic park - slovenly, unkempt, squirmy, selfish, allergic to functionality, and hawaiian shirted. that being said, my immune system DOES NOT WORK. i would like to trade in for a newer model, please, and preferably one that has never had chronic fatigue, but features resistance to mono, chicken pox, and most importantly, the cold.
i woke up this morning in a puddle. drool city. (i'm sorry, this blog was never meant to center around my bodily functions.) an experimental swallow and excavation of the nose crust led to the undeniable conclusion: cold is coming. again. body, what's the deal? you're well-fed, regularly exercised, warm and vitamined. you're young and flexible and provided with ample amounts of fresh air. you grew up in a BARN - clearly you should've developed some sort of resistance by now. but no, benedict arnold, you choose to fell me when i just do NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS SORT OF THING. we're getting a divorce.
question: has anyone successfully put the kibosh on a cold in its ugly adolescence? megs, who is in the same shoes, advises skipping the airborne as it as 1000% RDA of vitamin C, which can apparently cause stomach cramps and the like (no thank you, sir, i will not have another). help help help!
edit: this just in on today's daily dog (many thanks to the PR world for being timely purveyors of scandal) regarding Airborne: http://www.bulldogreporter.com/dailydog/index.html#3358
#663 When your roommate goes away for the weekend
15 hours ago
3 comments:
Puddle of drool...hmmm that could be a problem. It won't interfere with sushi-eating, though, will it?
I'm at work...I probably shouldn't be on here, but it's lunch break (4 minutes left!) and I'm pushing the envelope...ooh!
rockstars use EmergenC sometimes instead of Airborne when they are on tour. Also, Sudafed severe cold seems to work for me.
Also, if you snorted a line off a hooker's buttcheek...that seems to work too.
More reason not to use airborne: it absolutely tastes like ass. Fizzy citrus flavored ass. I had some in my medicine cabinet from my well meaning but easily persuaded by infomercials mother, and thought "maybe if I just have a third of the airborne, I won't OD on vitamin C and can kill off this thing." I think if I had drank that whole glass (they're like an alka seltzer) I would not be here to tell this tale today. BLECCCCH. Avoid, avoid, avoid.
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